A Letter to My Cats

-Seriously need have a sense of humor to read this-

Dear Cats,

First Bear:

You are a very bad cat!  Why must you eat rubber bands and paper towels, steal Rob's toothbrush and Pattie's hair brush, unroll my toilet paper and hid flies in my bed?  It is not funny.  Pattie is threatening to cook you in a nice General Tso's sauce that I won't be able to refuse.  How do you think this makes me feel knowing that her cooking could quite possibly have me eating my own cat?!  Please start behaving like a good cat.

Boots:

I am onto you.  I know you were the first to hide flies in my bed because it started before Bear was even here.  I must ask you to stop as it is grossing the shit out of me.  Actually avoid my bed altogether since you and Bear don't wipe your paws after using the litter box.  Also, if the litter box is full, I am sorry.  This however does not give you the right to poo right next to said litter box RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  This makes mommy mad and puts you as runner up for the wok. 

Both of you can be extremely insensitive to my sleep.  When I am sleeping I want to sleep.  Stop meowing.  Stop trying to get me to pet you.  Stop covering up your poo, you covered it already.  Stop pawing at the door, I cannot let you out, you have proven that you cannot be trusted in the real world (rest of the house) while I am asleep.  And stop knocking over my lamp on my nightstand.  Stop pushing my water bottle over.  Stop digging in the litter box, you're done.  Stop scratching at the door!  Stop playing with whatever it is you are playing with!  Stop meowing!  Stop eating your kibble so loud!  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST STOP! 

There is no need to wake me five minutes earlier than my alarm to remind me that you want your wet food.  There is no reason to trip me on my way to the bathroom.  Or on my way to the kitchen, or on my way back to my room with said wet food.  You tripping me just slows me down and means it takes longer.  And meowing at me isn't going to speed things up.  So keep quiet and out of my way and our morning with go much smoother.

As I am typing this up I see you eyeballing the keyboard with envy.  Do not be envious of this thing.  I assure you that once I am done my attention will then return back to you.  That does not mean you can come over here and walk on my keyboard until I give you attention either.  I cannot afford a new one at the moment, so please stop walking on it! 

If we can work on these problems I am sure you two will be the best house cats ever!

Yours truly,
Mommy

PS:  What with the puffy tail?  I don't get it.

Why do I blog?

Originally I started blogging because I was making YouTube videos sharing myself with the world.  Trying to get time to myself to do the videos was tough as I live with two roommates.  I picked up blogging to help me continue sharing 'Me' with the world.  I tried to keep updates flowing each month, but I kind of ran out of things to share.  Seems so simple looking back at it.

When I started videos I did it for the Pagan/Wiccan community.  I am a practicing witch and I wanted to share with like-minded people and show how I am growing with my spirituality.  I've become greedy about this recently and don't want to openly share much of that anymore.

It's MINE and you cannot read it!

No, in all honesty, I'm keeping that close to the vest as of right now because my path that I follow isn't set in stone.  It is constantly changing with me as I learn new things and experience new life-changing moments. 

Then I heavily leaned on it when I started Two Of Us (a dating service) where I would blog about my dates.  You were introduced to Toby, Vince, and Joel (in order of how they appeared in my life).  But since I have changed my profile on the site to "On Hold" since Vince and I are giving it a shot, there really isn't anything else in that department.

This is Vince.  Vince is my Boyfriend.  Vince makes me happy.

I am a writer and I want to write.  So I have been itching to try to figure out what else to blog about.  I am only 22 years old, so I don't have much life experience behind me to share, nor do I have embarrassing stories that I remember.  Well, that last one is kind of a lie, but I have swiss cheese for memory and those will take some time to gather for proper retelling.

So what else is there for me to blog about?!  There has to be something.  I need to write.  So I did a post about my horse Vixen.  That didn't help.  After I did that post I held a grudge against her for a couple of days for no reason at all.  Not that I needed a reason since she would trample me for no reason at all!

I started reading a blog called Mental Poo by the Midget Man of Steel.  Genius.

I read a blog called Hyperbole and a Half by Allie.  Brilliant.

I skipped around reading all these funny posts and started wondering if I could be funny.  (Probably not since Rob tells me I always tell boring stories.)  So I took a page out of Rodney's blog and slacked off by playing in PAINT.  Yay!  Then I followed Allie's lead and wrote a letter to my cats.  The letter to my cats will be my next post.  But I will share with you now an awesome drawing I did in PAINT:

A year of Lovin'

On September 30, it will have been a full year I have been an owner of Vixen, my quarter horse mare.

Ms Booties