Tuesday, March 8, 2011

My Celibacy

Recently I have been under some ridicule because I am striving to reframe from having sex until a full year has passed.  This will end around my 22nd birthday on May 7th.  I didn't just swear off sex for an entire year.  After 6 months passed, I said I want to try this since I am already half way there.  I am not doing it for any other reason than to say, "I didn't have sex for a year."  There is nothing wrong with this celibacy.  It has become a goal, especially because I am being told it is silly and that I need laid.  

I do not need laid.  I have been happy, honest-to-goodness happy, for the past two weeks.  So I do not understand why they think I need laid.  Was I any happier when I was receiving sex?  Perhaps.  Who wouldn't be happier?  But I do not need sex to be happy.  And I understand that now.  I have my family, my friends, my job, and my witchcraft.  I am happy with what I have in my lift at the moment.  

Do I need sex?  No.  Do I need a boyfriend or girlfriend to make me happy?  No.  Does anyone ever honestly need a boyfriend or girlfriend to make themselves happy?  No.  But alas, we are humans, and we seek companionship.  There is no harm in this at all.  This does not change anything.  I do not want sex.  I want companionship, romance, bonding, a connection with someone on a spiritual level, not meaningless sweaty physical interaction.  Been there, done that, moving on. 

I know as a pagan/wiccan that sex is sacred.  It isn't viewed as dirty and forbidden like some other religions.  But that doesn't mean that every hour of every day of every week has to be filled with the act.  Some simply have sex out of boredom.  They go out to the bar and plan to have sex that night.  With any guy/girl they bump shoulders with.  How in the world is that respectful to yourself as a human being?  

If you has asked me about any of this last year, my response would have been totally different.  But because of my life experiences, some things about me have changed.  For better or worse, who knows.  All that I know is that I am happy with what I have. 


  1. LoneWolf/Jessica,
    Regardless of what other people think, I'm glad you're doing this for yourself. Don't let their comments discourage you.
    When one has a journey, there are always bumps in the road. Other travellers may try to divert you off the road and/or 'mission' you're on.
    So, keep your eyes open, your head clear and your legs closed. haha Sorry, you know I had to add something humorous in here.
    Never forget you are a special and gifted person.

  2. Thank you so much Dar! This means so much to me! I am happy you support me in my choice. Love and Light!

  3. No problem Jess. You're easy to love. :) You have one of the biggest hearts out there and I'm proud of you for living your life the truest way you know how.
    I hope that one day you do find that special person that makes you laugh and smile more than you already do.
    XO Love you! <3

  4. I am proud of you. Stick to your guns and let all of the negativity go in one ear and out the other without letting it stop at the brain bar. The people that speak negative about it, couldn't do it! And as for them saying you're not happy, respond by saying, "I am fine without having sex and if you think that I am so unhappy, why do you think that is?" This will get them thinking. Always remember to be honest and true to yourself and you will be able to do anything! I love you Jessica and I agree with Darla, you do have one of the biggest hearts out there in this world. You also make a lot of people happy. You make them smile and laugh their asses off. I am one of those people. Hugs and kisses to you 100 times a day, every day!